Tuesday, May 25

kids, they're so darn precious

ME: We're going to play a wicked fun game. It's called "Let's See Who Can Hit the Softest!"
KID: Okay! How do you play?
ME: It works like this ~ You've got to pretend to hit the other person, and the goal is to make as big a production out of it as possible, while actually barely touching the other person.
KID: I'm going to be good at this game!
ME: I bet you are. Okay, you go first.

The kid raises a little dimpled hand and leans back, then brings a fist flying down dramatically, emitting a screeching growl.

KID: Aaaaaaarrrrrgggggggghhhhh!

This pantomimed deathblow, worthy of any Playstation game, ends with the absolute faintest possible tap. The child beams proudly.

ME: Wow.
KID: I did real good, huh?
ME: You sure did, buddy.
KID: Your turn! Your turn! Your t~~~

WHOMP!

I brutally sock the kid in the gut, taking the wind out of the stomach and sending the kid right onto the backside, sneakers in the air.

ME: Aw, shit. I lose. Best two outta three?


I'm going to hell. There's no way around it.


2 comments:

Queenie said...

I used to have a really stupid boyfriend. I could get him on that game once a week. I have children now and it amazes me how much smarter they are then most adults. Not one kid has ever allowed this game to transpire.

Brent said...

I enjoy messing with the little kids. My motto is: 'It makes them stronger.' Yea, umm, that's it.